The unexpected kisses
by SaidbhinLuch
Summary: For every year that Sam and Jack knew each other, there was always that moment they never saw coming in which they were either forced to kiss each other, or accidentally did so. Humour, awkwardness and the general barminess that follows SG-1 ensues. And romance, obviously.
1. Year 1

The first time it happened both Sam and the Colonel had been cornered by a bunch of very enthusiastic locals.

Enthusiastic, well manic, as some of them pointed some very larger spears in their general direction, well _her_ general direction.

Daniel was no use, as he had accidentally had a bit too much of a drink that turned out to be fermented. And Teal'c being the helpful man that he was, was off helping Daniel instead of helping them diffuse a rather awkward and potentially mine filled situation.

There had been nothing, _nothing_ in the USAF guidelines about what to do when the locals were insisting on your CO planting one on you.

_Well at least it's nothing more._ One part of her mind supplied and she really, really wished that she could kick it.

_Unfortunately it means nothing more._ Another, even more demented part of her mind offered and Sam couldn't hold back the wince. Which, she had the sneaking suspicion that the Colonel had also caught it, and probably has misinterpreted what that meant.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

She saw one of the men point at her obviously, and gesturing in a way that was unnerving. The two exchanged looks, her wide eyed one met his oddly resigned one.

Well **that **was insulting.

"I'm not entirely sure why they're so adamant about this." He commented with a forced casualness as he tried to shift slightly in front of her.

"Probably because I'm a woman Sir." Sam shot him a look as she retorted, pushing herself back, flattening herself against the wall.

"Not much we can do about that."

"I would hope not."

"There is absolutely nothing in the USAF guidelines about this. We need to talk to someone when we get back."

"Just what I was thinking Sir." The fact that they had a similar thought process, caused to look at him as he started weighing their options.

Suddenly group surged forwards from Sam's right, managing to turn her to her left and forcing her into the Colonel's side She stumbled slightly as the butt of one of the spears dug into her back.

His arms automatically shot up to stop her from falling forwards and knocking them both sideways. They both looked at each other as the men in the crowd started hollering at the pair.

"If she is not yours, then we will claim her as ours." Sam opened to mouth to snap back at the hollering natives, turning around towards the mob, but she was yanked back didn't have the time to stifle the noise of surprise as the Colonel unceremoniously kissed her.

And it wasn't much of one, even though her own mouth was wide open, his remained shut tight. The Colonels thin lips caught her upper lip and quite a bit of teeth. In fact it was probably the most awkward kiss she ever had the misfortune to be a part of. Despite that, Sam was shocked to feel a slightly thrill run through her veins, her nerve endings tingling ever so slightly.

After a minute standing still, locked in a very uncomfortable embrace, she pulled back and glanced around. The crowd had dispersed apparently their little show had sated them for the time being.

Maybe it was a bit longer than a minute.

Sam coughed pointedly and the Colonel all but leapt away from her, the force of which caused her to fall backwards onto her backside.

She shut her eyes and bit down on the groan that was rising up her throat and glared up at the man, who was now extremely sheepish.

"Sorry about that, I didn't see another option, I really didn't fancy having to tell Hammond that my new second was carted off by a bunch of primitive natives." He held his hand out, but tried to joke and she smiled grabbing his hand.

"That would be awkward, not to mention the paperwork." Sam dusted herself down and looked up at him mischievously, and he heaved a breath in relief.

"That would be a pain in the ass I agree. I am sorry though Captain, I fully understand if you-" She held up a hand to stop him and waved him off.

"You probably saved my life, the last think I need is to be carted off by a caveman. I'm sure it's not fun." They both stopped and took a moment to consider the option before shudder and turning away. Though the matter seemed to be settled, Sam could feel a heat rise in her cheeks, much to her chagrin. She chanced a glance at the Colonel and thought that she could spy a flare of colour high in his own cheeks.

"Sooo..." Daniel stumbled out of one of the tents and walked past them in nothing but his boxers.

"Hello there _dah-_ling!" He tipped an imagined at Sam, before weaving to and fro towards the tree line. Teal'c emerged from the same tent and shot the pair the most world weary look she had ever seen, before he headed after the drunken man.

"Well that was unexpected." The Colonel commented idly leaning forward and watching them wander off.

"Was that supposed to be a British accent?" Sam looked down at the Colonel in bafflement, before shaking her head and walking towards the other unoccupied tent. As she walked away she could've sworn that she heard the Colonel say something.

"Oh Captain my Captain until next time." She turned to see if she had heard correctly, but the man in question was whistling cheerily, hands shoved in pockets and heading after the other two.

_Next time had better be better_, the passing thought had Sam both kicking herself and smiling to herself.

_If _a next time ever happened that is.

* * *

**Looks like my muse might be back. A girl can only hope, and dream! I hope you enjoyed this, it certainly was fun to write, and I will admit that the inspiration was in some part thanks to Tel nok shock! Thank you!**

**Also if any of you enjoy Sherlolly fanfiction, I am totally recommending "The Consulting Detective and his Pathologist" by pinkrosepictures. I've never recommended other stories before, but I was enthralled by it today. Wonderful stuff.**

**Anyways, expect about 10 one shots for this sporadically and hopefully in chronological order.**

**Hope you enjoy!**


	2. Year 2

**Spoilers for 'In the Line of Duty.'**

* * *

The next time it happened, Sam wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. Then again she had been feeling that way for about a week now, still stuck in the infirmary. Though she had been moved to one of the isolation rooms, during that week which was somewhat of a relief

If it was for her own privacy or the peace of mind of everyone else, Sam couldn't even begin to fathom. Nor did she really want to, she was having enough trouble organising her own thoughts, without having to worry about what everyone else was thinking about her.

She had been having nightmares almost hourly, the depression just about crushing her even Cassie's visit hadn't helped for all that long.

There was also the cocktail of sedatives that Janet and her small army of nurses were dosing her with in order to let her rest. For some reason she was now needing higher dosages and they didn't last half as long in her system.

She had just woken, but kept her eyes closed in a vain attempt to drift back to sleep. Sam could hear the whirl and click of the machines and the muffled sounds of someone sleeping. She slowly opened her eyes a crack and tilted her head towards the stifled breathing.

"_Sir?"_ Her voice, though her voice was little more than a whisper it seemed to echo in the room. She tried to move, but her limbs were refusing to co-operate, maybe the drugs were having more of an effect then she had realised.

Her eyes slide shut once again and images started to come into her mind. Memories of places she'd never been and people she'd never met. She winced and started to hyperventilate, she felt movement and suddenly a warmth was moving across her stomach.

She frowned, opened her eyes a crack once again and saw a tan arm snaking across her midriff. She drifted off once more, her warring selves slowing down and was finally able to rest properly.

* * *

She woke again later, unsure as to whether it was hours or days that she had been out and felt more human then she had been in almost two weeks. Once again she kept her eyes closed, unwilling to leave the twilight mood she was in.

That is until she heard a couple of hushed voices, and she slowly opened her eyes and saw two shadowed figures standing in the doorway.

One small and the other, quite a bit taller and looking more than a tad peeved if his stance was anything to go by.

The smaller figure moved away, footsteps clacking loudly and it took her a few moments to guess that it may have been Janet.

_She was so tired, but she just couldn't rest properly._

_Even though she had slept for so long._

_She still wasn't human._

_Would she ever be again?_

_All she wanted to be was warm,why was she still so cold?_

Though she had tried to keep still, trying to maintain the pretence of being asleep, given the other persons rapid move towards her and swift grasp of her hand, she had failed miserably.

The light, happy warmth spread through her, easing her pain and worry, and she sighed almost contentedly.

As she moved towards the warmth, Sam felt it touch her lips again her mind was dulled and slowed and it took her moments, eventually she twigged it.

The Colonel had inadvertently kissed her.

No one else had those thin warm lips, she could feel the surprise echo in him and he stilled in shock. A surge of heat sang through her veins and for the first time since been taken by Jolinar, Sam was not cold.

They remained as they were, lips barely brushing each other for about a minute, before Sam decided to act as though she was coming too.

"_Hey Sir."_ Her voice was still a shell of itself and she yawned, her eyes blearily taking in his face.

"Hey there Sam, you look like yourself." If she had not known the Colonel as well as she did, she might have missed the tension around his eyes and the slight guilt playing about his lips.

"_Funny Sir." _He blinked, sitting down next to her, seemingly unaware that his fingers were now looping through hers and his thumb stroking the back of her hand. Confusion passed by his face before a dawning looking of horror took over. He opened his mouth to say something, and gapped for a second before Sam starting giggling.

Well as close to giggling as she could manage in her current state. He looked down at her in amazement before grinning widely and starting to chuckle.

They both looked around to see Janet and Daniel, who had another enormous bouquet of flowers in his hands and both staring at them in amazement. They let go of each others' hands as soon as they realised that they were not alone.

"Feeling better?" They both asked in unison, and Sam smiled awkwardly at them, suddenly feeling very tired and down again.

"I'm a bit more of a wit then I first thought." The Colonel shrugged before taking in the flowers in Daniel's arms and rolling his eyes over at her. "I think Carter has enough flowers to last her at least three years already Daniel."

Everyone looked down at the flowers and Daniel visibly bristled, whether he was exaggerating for her benefit, or the past week had really gotten to him, Sam couldn't tell.

"These are actually from Teal'c, as are most of them. **Jack**." The Colonel held up his hands clearly biting down the impulse to retort with _"__Well ex-CUSE me!"_

"_Thanks Daniel, I, I think I need to rest."_ Her voice grew fainter and she struggled pointlessly with herself to stop slurring her words. Janet smiled gently and reached for the med cart to one side, unlocking it and preparing her doses. Daniel laid the flowers down on one of the tables and walked over to her, kissing her cheek and wishing her well.

The Colonel simply squeezed her hand and smiled down at her.

Both men turned away, glancing back at her and left the room, probably not going very far or for very long.

"One question Daniel, how are you not sneezing like crazy right now? I thought you were allergic, or have you been lying to me all these years?" Janet paused as she held a syringe to her IV and gave Sam a mystified look, before giggling lightly and plunging the dose into her IV. Sam was also giggling lightly, but due to the weakness of it, Janet probably missed it.

As the darkness began to seep into her mind, Sam realised that her lips had been tingling ever since the accidental kiss. She slowly raised a hand to her lips, touching them and smiling slightly before drifting off.

* * *

**First off, the response to this has been awesome! Thank you to everyone who has followed, favourited and reviewed it so far!**

**It's an absolute treat to write something like this, and I'm having fun. Even though this chapter isn't quite as happy or funny, I think there are a few little moments. I hope you guys like this one as much!**

**On another note, for any Sherlockians who have not been on the internet in the past couple of hours there is a season 3 preview on YouTube. A-MAY-ZING! Oh and I have a tumblr if anyone cares, not much going on really, I'm only just getting it now, but you can look me up. My url is searchingforamazingthings dot tumblr dot com, if you care to have a look! **

**Enjoy!**


	3. Year 3

Sam twitched her head, bouncing up and down on her heels as she jumped around her house. Janet had released them, under the strict condition that they go home and stay there.

_And not to land themselves' into more trouble_ had been implied.

The worst thing was, she felt like going out and wrecking some major havoc. She was crawling out of her skin and full of way too much energy. Clearly Urgo had left an imprint on their minds and hormone levels. Sam didn't know whether to eat her own weight in food or to literally tear her house to shreds.

She threw herself onto the couch quite forcefully and let out a short explicative of rage. She stood up again, resisting the temptation to go out for a run, god knows what she'd manage to do out there. The stale scent in the house alone was enough to send her to the door several times before she yanked herself away.

The door bell rang and she leapt up and just about sprinted to the door, nearly pulling it off its hinges in her enthusiasm for a distraction. A bewildered teenage boy stood awkwardly on her stoop with five bags of food scattered around him. He looked up at her, blushing furiously as he went to double check the order.

'F-for you Miss?' He stammered voice cracking slightly and she nodded thrusting a bundle of notes into his hand as she moved to take the bags.

'Thanks, keep the change.' The confused boy stared at her, his cheeks flaring red even further before he tripped and stumbled away. Sam twitched an eyebrow at his retreating back before dragging the food in and tossing in on the coffee table. She darted into the kitchen and grabbing a knife and fork.

She sat back in the chair about 20 minutes later, with very little of the food left and groaned at the site of the empty cartons. She stared down at her stomach regretfully, knowing how much she was going to have to work out after that. A familiar scent caught her nose and she twitched, her senses were fading so she wasn't quite able to place it.

Sam managed to pull herself out of the seat and went to the door at a much slower pace, then the previous trip. She pulled the door open and had to clench her jaw in order to stop it from falling. The Colonel was staring at her with the most Bambi like eyes she had ever seen. He looked as though he had been hit by lightening and wasn't quite sure why he was outside her house, or how he'd even gotten there.

There had already been a fire burning in her stomach due to the excess of hormones and altered brain chemistry, but now it was like her skin was an inferno. That was when she remembered what she was wearing.

_No wonder_ the delivery kid had been so embarrassed on opening the door.

She was clad in her old tank top and a pair of shorts, not the tiniest pair ever, but enough to give the man a heck of an eyeful.

_Oooooooooooooooooooh no_.

'Am hi? Carter. Yes.' He then coughed awkwardly and tried valiantly to keep his eyes north of her body. It was clearly taking some effort for him to keep his eyes fixed on her face, and she felt bad for him.

Not bad enough for her to go put on more clothes. Sam was sympathetic, yes, but she did feel like she was roasting.

And Sam Carter never fared well in the heat.

'Hey... do you want to come in?' Even as she said it, she knew it was a bad idea.

Probably one of the things Janet was hinting about NOT doing.

If asked about it, Sam was going to blame the hormones, chemical imbalance and the blaze storming through her veins. The consequences could be dire.

And org- _Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!_

She blinked and tried to smile normally at the man hovering awkwardly on her lawn. At least she wasn't alone in her traitorous thought process as she saw him mentally smack himself and seemingly attempt to move away. The Colonel's feet however seemed to be following a different train of thought as he moved towards her.

She stepped in and kicked herself mentally as she watched him amble down her hallway, eyes straying further south, despite her best efforts.

This was going to end badly.

"_Or extremely well." _Sam really wished she had a way to punch her id at that moment. She really could not be thinking like that.

She liked her job, she _loved_ her job, yes she _liked_ him in a way that was far from appropriate and getting progressively worse. But that did NOT mean she wanted to jump him.

Well she did and she didn't.

Why did her life have to be so complicated?

'The constant munchies hit you too?' The Colonel asked as he sat down on her couch, staring at the mess that she had left.

'Yeah, I'm pretty sure my neighbours think I'm as stoned as hell, what with the constant parade of take out people popping by. Beer?' Even as she said it, she knew it was a very bad idea, than again she had been thinking that ever since she had opened the door.

'Yeah, apparently one of mine was about to call the cops when I decided to head out. But I forgot to take the car.'

Sam poked her head round the door, forgoing the beer and bringing out a bottle of ice cold cola with a couple of glasses. She curled up in one of the other armchairs, trying desperately to ignore the eyes tracking her movements.

'You ran here?' She asked leaning over and pouring a glass in attempt to cool herself down and ran a hand through her hair.

'Didn't know where I was heading until you opened the door.'

'Thought I smelled something.' Once more, Sam was wishing she could kick herself the chemical imbalance was really screwing with her impulses. The pair sat in a decidedly awkward silence for a spell she was fighting the impulse to claw through her own skin, rather the other far more enticing one.

After what felt like an hour, but was more likely only a couple of minutes at the most, the Colonel had clearly had enough. He quickly jumped up and headed towards her door, Sam followed suit, but in her heat induced state she stumble and fell into him.

His own hormonal craziness and imbalance had clearly knocked his typical sure-footedness off as he fell backwards, taking her with him.

As the realization of the position hit her, she stared into Jack's eyes, no doubt looking completely bewildered. Neither of them moved, either unwilling or unable, and she most certainly wasn't going to try and differentiate between the two. Suddenly she noticed that his eyes had almost completely blackened and her internal brimming heat spiked.

All Sam knew was that she couldn't have stopped herself, even if she had an ounce of sanity or self control left, it wouldn't have been enough. They moved as one and their lips clashed together. It was all teeth and bruising, every emotion bubbling over left no room for gentleness or caring, just pure mad lust.

Once more they moved in synchronicity and they recoiled from one another, Jack pulled off her, nearly rolling heels over head in his enthusiasm to get away. Sam couldn't even place when he'd flipped her over, he stared at her, his chest heaving and she knew she was looking equally flustered.

'Well crap.' They spoke simultaneously and she flopped on her back, her internal heat dying down to a mere controllable simmer. Sam could feel her mind begin to settle and calm down for the first time since Urgo had appeared.

* * *

**Man it has been ages since I've been able to work on Stargate stuff. The past couple of weeks have been BEYOND stressful. **

**Thank you for the AMAZING response! You guys are awesome and more words I can't even begin to form.**


	4. Year 4

**Set immediately after the end of 'Tangent'. **

* * *

'Daniel, get the thermal blankets, Teal'c I know you're in a better state, but just stay down please.' Sam moved to guide the rather punch drunk man onto the floor as he giggled madly. A loud call of cheering caused all four to pause as Jacob mouthed "_SGC"_ at them. She kneeled down, smiling slightly and started as the Colonel dropped into her side.

'They like MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'They all looked down as he sang out in a high pitched voice before nuzzling into her chest. She gave Daniel a wide eyed look, who coped it and mock casually blocked her Dad's direct line of view. Sam felt her eyebrow twitch, Daniel had been able to run interference and her Dad hadn't even caught it.

'The hypoxia really makes him giddy.' He noted, watching as she struggled to detach the clingy man from her midriff before her Dad tried to kill him.

'How're they doing?' The man in question called from the flight deck and Sam turned to see Teal'c assisting her in getting the Colonel to let go.

'Teal'c's fine, Jack's well a little bit more _Jack_.' Daniel smirked and she shot him an irritated look as she and Teal'c moved the now limp man to a make shift bed and she laid a blanket over him.

'Teal'c, you rest, Daniel could you please, am, change the Colonel's clothes? Don't think he'd appreciate if it was me.' She smirked as Daniel blanched, she made Teal'c lie down on the second makeshift bed and left the room to join her Dad.

'They doing okay?' Her Dad asked as she sat down in the other seat resting her legs up on the dash, leaning back. She rubbed the heels of her palms into her eyes and sighed deeply.

'They're back. The Colonel is a tad more erratic than usual, but it's to be expected I suppose. Why didn't you bring the healing device?'

'You did rush me kiddo, and I really wish I had. Jack wouldn't have been cuddling into your chest otherwise. Daniel's gotten better, but not _that _much better.' Father and daughter exchanged looks, his slightly more stern yet amused and hers as though someone had smacked her upside of the head with a wet fish. She winced before staring out at the stars, trying to think of something to say.

'It's not his fault he's hypoxic and giddy... due to the hypoxia.' Jacob shot her his very best "_no, really?" _look at her and Sam simply shrugged. They both turned and saw Daniel standing in the doorway, looking shell shocked.

'I am never _ever_ doing that again.' He glared at Sam, who simply arched an eyebrow, wiggling into the seat to get more comfortable as Jacob just raised his eyebrows shaking his head.

'We've done that for you enough times. You will be doing it again. Act grateful, we could've made a lot of money out of the past couple of times. Especially if we'd recorded the _dance_.' Sam turned back to the screen, debating for a moment and getting up and heading back into the cargo room. Daniel stood looking bemused as she passed him, clearly trying to remember his dance routine. Or even when it happened.

Sam stepped into the cargo hold and leaned up against the wall for a moment watching as Teal'c quietly placed warming blankets on the Colonel. He turned and stared at her for a moment, nodding in what could almost be a slightly shamefaced manner before sitting back own on his own bed. She shook her head good-naturedly, picking up another thermal blanket and wrapped it around him, patting him lightly on the shoulder. She paused for a moment, watching him, making sure that he started to Kel'no'reem.

'There are three of use to check up on you both, you may be slightly better off, but you still need to recuperate. Rest.' Teal'c nodded slowly, pulling his legs up into position and closing his eyes. Sam watched him for a couple of minutes, just to check that Teal'c was in fact resting. As straight arrowed as he normally was, he had his moments of being extraordinarily sneaky. As she considered it, given his previous successes with being sneaky, he most likely was astonishingly sly nearly all of the time.

She smiled to herself, pleased that he had complied with her request and she walked over to the Colonel, who appeared to be dozing lightly.

'Sam!' He greeted her cheerfully, though he was slurring slightly and kept slipping as he tried to prop himself up.

'Hey Sir. Feeling better I see.' She smiled lightly and tried to encourage him to lie back down, but once again he had other ideas. His arms clamped around her middle, his face burrowed into her stomach and humming happily. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop the pleased smiled from blossoming on her face. Besides no one would have been able to see the smile anyway.

'Better now you're here. Nice that you're here, you're usually away now.' Luckily he wasn't looking at her face as his arms squeezed her tighter and she had to bite back a shudder. It was hard enough knowing that things couldn't be as they once were between them, but having it said out loud was almost too much.

The slight pressure around her waist lessened, and Sam felt him start to snore lightly. She reached round and pulled his arms away, easing him back down and wrapping the thermal blankets around him once more. Her Dad and Daniel were deep in discussion at the stick, so she didn't feel too bad around grabbing his hand and rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.

Turns out he wasn't as asleep as she had first thought as he starting mumbling and twitching. Sam did her best to ignore it, wouldn't be fair to learn all of the man's secrets simply due the hypoxia induced euphoria. She simply continued to hold his hand and hum lightly in her head.

As a result of this self distraction, she didn't notice as the Colonel stirred and rise up, before planting a rather sloppy kiss on her. Sam didn't know what to do, she couldn't move as the Colonel was now gripping her other hand quite tightly. She simply sat there, ramrod straight, eyes wide open and completely baffled as to what to do,

'Ahem' Suddenly the Colonel keeled over, snoring as a level that Daniel could be envious of and she turned to see Jacob standing looking, well she couldn't quite figure out what emotions he was expressing. Sam tucked him back in, trying to hide her blushing cheeks and to figure out what to say to her Dad.

'Does that happen _often?'_ He asked in a tone that could only be described as waspish and she just rolled her eyes.

'Oh yeah, _all the time_. Because neither of us like our jobs, or ranks and totally want to get thrown into jail. We are just that careless and selfish.' She hissed at him as she grabbed his arm and steered him back into the flight deck, dragging him to a corner to where Daniel was less likely to over hear anything. As he opened his mouth to retort, she cut him off with a swift shush. Daniel turned from the stick, looking curious, but she simply shot him her very best death glare before focusing back on her father.

'He's _hy-pox-ic_! His brain's not really at 100% right now. He won't even remember what happened, and _no one_ is going to tell him. Otherwise the varying stories and pictures that _someone_ doesn't want to become general knowledge will be unleashed upon the SGC.' Sam poked him repeatedly in the chest, continuing to glare at him. He narrowed his eyes, studying her for a moment before he was having an internal argument. As his face became more and more irritated with a dash of regret, she began to grin.

'Does Selmak have an opinion she'd like to share?' She asked smugly, knowing that the Tok'ra was on her side of the quarrel. Her father's face and a petulant look flitter across his face.

'Nothing important.' He crossed his arms across his chest and just about pouted at her. Sam shook her finger at him before heading over to Daniel, watching him attempt to man the ship. Suddenly a shout came from the cargo hold and both of them turned. Sam sighed, rolling her eyes and patting him on the shoulder, telling him to stay.

The Colonel had woken up once more and was staring at Jacob with the bleariest eyes she had ever seen.

'I prefer _Carter-_Carter, nicer, smarter and prettier. Less glarey too.' He nodded slowly as though it was a great intellectual point, before he passed out again. Sam had to bite down on a little smile, but was worrying over what her father was going to do. She glanced over to see his shoulders shaking and she leaned forward, trying to peer at his face. Much to her surprise within a couple of seconds was laughing hysterically. Sam looked round to see Daniel attempting to look back and steer at the same time, and she just shrugged, shaking her head in confusion.


	5. Year 5

**Look for translations and pronounciations at the end.**

* * *

'Ammm this is our leader Colonel Carter?' Daniel tried to stand as passively as he could, nudging Sam forward who looked at him in shock. The Colonel spluttered, but was quickly silenced, more than likely by a swift elbow from Teal'c. Sam coughed before turning the group of women who were currently debating whether or not to kidnap the rest of her team.

Sam clenched her jaw and stood to her fullest, acting as though she was in fact the team leader. One woman stood forward and though she had a good five inches on the alien woman, Sam felt extraordinarily intimidated by her. She examined her face critically, searching for weakness and Sam struggled to keep her face calm. Her bright green eyes taking in every detail, she pushed back her ash blonde hair and pulled back her shoulders. Eventually, she nodded, turning to the other women signalling rapidly and they moved into a single group. Most moved away and Sam nodded at the apparent leader, turning to Daniel.

"_**Colonel**__ Carter? What the hell are you thinking?" _Both officers hissed at the apprehensive man who was glancing back at the women. Sam shot the Colonel a look and he shrugged in response.

'Look we don't have another choice, if we don't play along, we are in trouble.' Daniel glared at both of them, before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

'As of now, Sam is our leader. Jack, you deal with it, Sam you can totally pull it off... I'm going to see if the SGC can spare any more women to well, make sure that we don't get sold.' Daniel marched past the flummoxed pair, smacking his best friend on the arm as he did so. Teal'c stared at both of them, arching his eyebrow and followed after Daniel at a sedate pace.

'I'm not wearing anything ridiculous!' The Colonel gestured wildly after the pair and Sam's jaw dropped, quickly becoming incensed.

'If they tell you to, you'll do it and you'll like it. _Major O'Neill_.' She glared furiously at him and he looked completely confused at her reaction. Sam glanced over her shoulder and saw a couple of the women staring at the pair curiously, and she pulled him away.

'You made _me_ do it. If you have to, you're gonna.' His face contorted and he winced, looking down at her in resignation.

'I'm going to be stuck in quite a few meetings with the eggheads aren't I?' Sam smirked at him, nodding slowly and watched gleefully as his face fell. She smiled reassuringly at the three women behind her and radioed Daniel.

'Any joy in... ah, getting our advisors?' She was very conscious of the warriors behind her, who were listening intently to their every word.

'Doctor Frasier was the only wo- ahhhh, person they could spare.'

'Very good, ETA?' She questioned, watching in vague amusement as the Colonel keep his gaze to the ground, scuffing his boots off one another.

'About 20 minutes, she's made it a priority.' Sam actually glanced down at her radio in amazement for a moment before radioing her confirmation and turning back to the women, stepping forward.

'Our Medical advisor, that is, our head _Healer_ will be joining us soon. She knows that our meeting is very important.' The three women stared at Sam, scrutinising her, glancing at the Colonel before smiling brightly at her.

'Thank you Colonel Carter we will tell our Ceannaire.' The middle woman beamed happily, bowing low, her dark green cloak brushing off the ground. Sam inclined her head, her heavy vest and pack preventing her from dipping lower. The other women were watching the Colonel very closely, and he was attempting to appear as non-threatening as possible.

'Great we'll go wait by the Stargate- ahh _Fáinne._' Sam inclined her head once more, tripping over the foreign word slightly as she stepped back and headed towards the gate. Both officers fell into step as they followed the worn path towards the gate.

'You picked up on the words pretty quickly.' He commented absentmindedly as they trudged along, Sam examining the picturesque countryside as they went.

'Daniel kept murmuring them to himself after they said them to us. Surprised you haven't said anything, being an _O'Neill_ and all.' He chuckled as she gave him a sidelong look, grinning mischievously before laughing lightly.'

'The only I Irish I have is _"Póg mo thóin"_; my grandmother was _not_ pleased with my grandfather for that one.' Sam paused, frowning as she thought about the phrase he'd just presented her with.

'Does that mean-?'

'Yeah.' He nodded slowly, his face showing a wistful nostalgia that she had never seen on his face before.

'No wonder you're grandmother was mad.' She commented a couple of minutes later, adjusting her vest slightly as they turned the corner towards the gate. Daniel and Teal'c were standing to full attention well Daniel was attempting to do so, at either side of the DHD.

'Hey, where are our escorts?' Daniel noticed them first, looking curious at the lack of an entourage.

'Apparently _Colonel_ Carter made a good impression.' Though said jokingly, the Colonel grinned at her and she smiled brightly.

'What can I say I learned from the best!' She smiled back, and his chest puffed up slightly, and she winked at the other two before continuing. 'Dad was the Master after all.'

* * *

Sam and Janet stood outside one of the larger tents, both of them trying not to giggle insanely at the muffled cursing, complaining and squabbling coming from behind them. A tall brunette woman, Ciara, strode over to them inclining her head, her hair spilling forwards over the gold torque holding her cloak in place.

'Colonel Carter, Doctor Fraiser, Ceannaire Blanaid is ready for you.' The women exchanges looks before Sam, smiled reassuringly.

'Thank you Ciara, but we would prefer to remain with our team. We've been in situations before where we were separated, and we've learned to keep our guard up, initially. I hope that does not offend, we mean no disrespect.' She inclined her head towards her, watching her carefully for her reaction. Janet tensed slightly next to her, moving almost imperceptively towards the tent entrance.

Much to their surprise, Ciara regarded both of them with an increased level of respect clearly shining in her face.

'Wise. Your men are sainuil, _unique_; many would happily take them for their own. Nothing is more important than your clan, that is your family.' She nodded once more, the undertone in her voice clear to both women and she turned away, her green cloak billowing behind her. Sam looked around to see many women sizing them up and she stepped back to Janet as casually as she could.

'Oh how I wish Lt. Hailey could've made it for this.'

'Yeah, I think we could've done with the 4"9 fighting machine right about now. What we going to do _Colonel_ Carter?' Sam glanced back to her friend who was now grinning almost manically at her and she rolled her eyes in response.

'Why is everyone having so much fun with that?' There was a moments' pause as another stifled curse issued from the tent behind them. As well as a rather strapping, shirtless man strode past with his clock attached to his nipples.

'That has _got_ to hurt! And I think it's mostly amusing as we now have _Major O'Neill_!'

'Oy!' Sam turned around and Janet turned slightly towards the tent before her eyes zipped back to Sam. The three men stood in front of them, two far more awkward then the third. Teal'c stood proudly, smoothing down his kilt and nodding at both women. Daniel was staring down at his bare legs, and looking decidedly embarrassed about his outfit. And then there was the Colonel.

He was glaring furiously down at his own legs, still wearing his combat boots and adjusting his cloak irritably.

Sam had to bite her lip furiously, to stop the laughter bubbling over, and a shared look with Janet showed that she was feeling the same.

'Ceannaire Blanaid has requested our presence for the Lughnasash festival. Also Ciara warned us that you lot are in demand, so stay close if you will.' Sam's voice betrayed her as notes of laughter seeped into her speech, detracting slightly from the serious message.

'Joy oh joy.' The Colonel mutter, his eyes widening comically as he took in another man walking past with the nipple bound cloak His arms came up to just below his collar bone and rubbed. Daniel opened his mouth to explain the tradition but the other two simply glared at him, and his mouth snapped shut.

'We will endeavour to remain close Colonel Carter.' Though Teal'c's voice was his typical neutral low baritone, the slight twitch about his mouth and right eyebrow betrayed his humour.

'Shall we gents?' Janet gestured over dramatically to let them step ahead, Sam took point as the guys had to disarm and both women only had their Zats and sidearms.

* * *

A few hours later, Sam was sitting around one of the bonfires and watching in amusement as Daniel attempted to follow the dance steps the surrounding celebration. Janet was standing off to one side, closer to where he was, trying to keep a close eye on him.

Sam and Janet had managed to convince Blanaid and the other leaders that each of the guys were well spoken for. Daniel being bound to Janet, conveniently enough, she thought in glee, but the Colonel was _intended _to Sam. Sam had been quick enough to use the regulations to her favour on this occasion, stating that military officers working together could not be involved, but when the time came, they too would be bonded.

Of course it didn't help that throughout Sam's explanation Janet was shooting her knowing looks. Teal'c had pointed out that he was married so he was off the hook, even though she could not be there with them. She caught Janet's eye and winked, causing her friend to blush furiously and fumble as Daniel stood next to her.

'Okay, okay, I'm really, really, _really_ sorry about the blue dress now. I did not know how humiliating it is.' She looked up to see the Colonel still glaring down at his kilt, though casting suspicious glances around.

'I guess the skirt suits you then. Popular with the local ladies?' She stretched out as he sat down next to her still looking around carefully.

'Bit too much for my liking. Please don't call it a skirt.' She smiled brightly, staring into the fire and she could feel him narrow his eyes at her.

'If the kilt fits. And at least you had me on the team, otherwise...' She continued to grin as the Colonel pulled the kilt further under him and fiddled with his boots.

'I do not appreciate the jokes Carter.' He muttered under his breath, as a woman the same height as Sam with dark red hair to her waist stared them both down.

'Yeah neither did I.' She arched her eyebrow at the woman meeting her stare with the same intensity, tapping her finger softly, grazing against the Colonel's thigh. He shifted over towards her slightly, leaning back as both women looked at each other intently.

'Well that was a first. Usually it's you three staring someone down over _me_.' Sam sighed in relief as the red hair woman moved away from them, looking defeated.

'Interesting to mix things up.' Both of them stopped as they saw Blanaid and Ciara had what looked like to be a relatively tense conversation with the Daniel and Janet, Teal'c listening quietly in the background. He looked up and gave them both a medium alert look, causing the pair to look at each other in confusion.

'What is that supposed to- _oh.'_ The Colonel started to say but stopped as they saw Janet snag Daniels shirt and yank him down, kissing him furiously.

'That. That I did _not_ see coming.' He managed, watching as the two doctors kissed like their lives depended on it, though it was probably true.

'Really? People have been betting on those two for ages.' Sam tried to school her face but just knew that the surprise was etched into her features. She blinked, shaking her head as Teal'c knelt down carefully in front of her.

'They expect displays of your intention.' He stared at both of them meaningfully before rising and stepping backwards, bowing slightly as Blanaid and Ciara approached them. The Colonel managed a couple of noises, far more high pitched than she would have expected.

Sam stood, indicating that the Colonel follow suit as both women stopped in front of him.

'I am aware that you are not overly familiar with our customs, but one of the important aspects of Lughnasash is the martial rituals.' Ciara started, smiling carefully at them, as Blanaid scrutinised them once more.

'As you have explained it, you and Major O'Neill are not pósta and cannot be due to your positions, but a display of your _intentions_ would be advised.' The two warriors turned to Sam and once again she struggled to maintain the cool facade that was critical for this to work.

'I understand.' She knew that the Colonel was fighting to keep a lid on his surprise as she inclined her head towards them. Sam turned round, took a steadying breath before, without any grace or elegance, grabbed the Colonel around the back of the head and pulling him down.

Initially the shock of her impulsive move stunned him, with his mouth slightly open, but as one of her hands scrapped through his short hair involuntarily, he surged forward. It was a kiss that Sam knew would haunt her for the rest of her life. All the slips mishaps and forced ones in the past were nothing compared to this. The moment he reacted, one did not follow the other, in perfect motion with one another, and Sam felt the walls to _that room_ shake.

They broke apart with a loud pop and both Ciara and Blanaid nodded, satisfied with their _display_.

'That should keep Fianna away from the Major.' Blanaid commented her face showing great pleasure as she pointed out the red headed woman who had stared Sam down moments ago. Fianna was looking beyond livid and stormed off in one direction grabbing one man as she went.

Sam coughed awkwardly as the pair walked away heading towards one of the other bonfires. She was trying not to let the deep yearning that had settled in her chest show too obviously. Daniel and Janet smiled uncomfortably at them as they followed a black haired woman to one of the piles of corn that were gathered at the edges of the celebration area.

'_Colonel_ Carter, _Major_ Jack.' Daniel managed to quip at the Colonel who glared and Janet just shot her a weary look. Clearly Daniel had clearly planned on saying this to him; sometimes Daniel managed to baffled her completely.

'He is having way too much fun with that.' The Colonel crossed his arms and pouted childishly as Janet dragged Daniel away.

'Well at least he's managed to win me 100 bucks.' Sam stated matter of factly, crossing her arms as well, and the Colonel stared at her in surprise.

'Oh I had a bet that they'd first kiss off world.' He just looked at her strangely, one eyebrow arched and the other dipping down.

'Cass dared me to make the bet.' He continued to stare at her in complete amazement and bafflement.

'I never really back down from a challenge!' She shook her head at him, arms stretched out slightly, screaming _'WHAT?' _non verbally at him.

* * *

**Ceannaire (can-a-ri)= _Leader_, Clan= _Family,_Fainne (Fawn-ya)= _ring_, Pog mo thoin (pogue muh ho-in)= _Kiss my ass (Jack's granddad was a bad influence! haha),_ posta (Post-a)= _married. _** **Lughnasash (Loo-na-sa)= _Celtic Festival signalling the start of Autumn._ **

**Hope that helps! Also thank you for the oh so amazing response to this so far! It is super fun! Every attempt to come up with a new situation is increasingly fun!**

**Wish me luck, my very crucial results are in this weeks! Eeee! And wish luck to Gallifreyanlove too! Not that she needs it!**

**Thank you as always! Love you guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning this is not in season, but Christmas is everywhere right now apparently. ENJOY!**

* * *

Sam smiled softly as she watched Cassie and Teal'c explaining the Christmas tree tradition, the former one gesturing wildly and enthusiastically, to Jonas. Jonas was listening attentively to the pair, his eyes large and shining in his exuberance. She glanced over to see her Dad and the Colonel sitting over on the couch having a very heated discussion, which was undercut slightly by the bright paper hats on their heads.

She looked round and frowned as Janet was nowhere to be seen, she got up slowly, flexing her socked feet against the carpet and picking up her glass of wine. She ambled out of the room slowly patting Cassie jokingly on the head as she went ignoring the annoyed grumble. She stepped into the kitchen to see Janet staring blankly out the window, empty wine glass her hand and completely lost in thought.

'Hey?'She tried putting her glass down and closing the door gently behind her. Janet jumped slightly and looked over at her, smiling sadly.

'Thinking about him?' She tried sitting up on the counter top and kicking her legs back and forth.

'It's what you do at Christmas, isn't it?' Janet leaned up against the opposite counter, pouring herself a generous glass of wine and taking a hearty sip. Sam nodded slowly, feeling herself getting rather glum at the thought of their one missing friend.

'Well at least there will be some miscommunication later between Dad, the Colonel and Jonas and we will have a good giggle.' She tried pouring herself a glass as the door nearly bounced off its hinges, dark red wine splattering on the floor. Sam leaned over to see the Colonel standing in the doorway, hat at a jaunty angle and a baffled Cassie, sticking her head around him. She blinked widely from the pair to Janet and back again, slipping off the counter and edging out of the room.

She shook her head, and stopped as a quick short breeze whipped around her and she stared cautiously at ceiling and walls. Sam wasn't entirely sure what she was expecting to see, the mistletoe was _not_ on her list of ideas.

Her Dad poked his own head around the doorway and Jonas hopped over to see what was going on. The three stared up at the mistletoe as the Colonel marched past her, pausing in the doorway, just noticing that they were staring upwards. Her Dad straightened and peered upwards at what they were staring at, moving forward to get a better look. Jonas looked from one man to the other, to the mistletoe and then at Sam, his eyes dominating his face.

Cassie and Janet wandered out of the kitchen a few moments later, and started giggling loudly as they all watched the dawning realisation wash over the two in the doorway. Sam swallowed her laughter, or at the very least did her utmost to do so. Both of them decided that it was _her_ fault, though the look coming from the Colonel seemed more mischievous then accusing. Teal'c appeared hovering behind her Dad and looked up at the berries, followed by what could be taken to be an amused glance at her.

Jonas was now talking animatedly about the history of mistletoe, with Cassie looking at him, trying to appear interested, but her eyes were clouded over. Janet leaned against the wall and smirked at the pair, and Sam just waited for whatever was about to happen. The Colonel looked up at the plant curiously, a small grin playing about his lips before he grabbed her Dad by the shoulders.

'Jacob! Happy Christmas!' He called out loudly and exaggeratedly as he planted a loud sloopy kiss one each of his checks, finishing with an over-showy one on the lips. Her Dad stood, slack jawed and stunned speechless and Janet nearly fell over as she started crying with laughter. Jacob continued to gape at the Colonel as he pranced past him, Sam herself couldn't figure out if it was the more hilarious thing she had ever seen, or the worst.

She smiled oddly at her Dad quirking her eyebrow and padding past him, brushing his shoulder accidently. She walked into the dining room to see the Colonel eyeballing the cake that she and Cassie had spent all day baking and icing.

'Leave it.' She warned cooling, setting the table around the cake and started to hum lightly, suddenly drawing memories of her mother saying the same thing to her brother.

'B-but...?'

'_No.'_ Sam waved a knife at him, as his hand inched closer and closer to the cake, he hovered slightly and she sighed as she leaned over and smacked his hand away.

'You kissed my Dad, leave the cake alone.' She pointed at him, waggling her finger slightly and jerking her head towards the living room obviously, which he naturally ignored. He simply pulled a chair out and stretched out, probably just to spite her. This sprawling pose was forcing Sam to lean deliberately around and over him. The man was clearly enjoying himself and Sam had to crick her neck and roll her eyes to herself, just to avoid saying something she'd likely regret.

* * *

Sometime later Sam found herself outside on the porch with a glass of wine and bundled up in a massive hoodie, the owner unknown to her, staring at the stars. Along with a massive slice of the chocolate cake, well it had started as a massive slice, but it now had quite the large dent. She twirled the fork idly between the fingers of her right hand, and smiled up at the twinkling skyscape.

'Hey...' She didn't even look round, but grabbed the remaining cake with her fingertips and pulled it towards her.

'Damn.' Jack chuckled and sat down next to her, looking out at the trees as she gazed back upwards. She ate the rich chocolate cake happily, savouring it and enjoying the slightly glare she was getting from him.

She smiled softly as a trio of voices started singing loudly from inside the house, one voice a beat behind the others.

'T has a surprisingly good voice.' Sam nodded and leaned back, closing her eyes and humming along.

'You, on the other hand do not.'

'You mean my voice is not surprising in its excellence?' She joked, smirking while pulling herself up and turning towards him. He was looking at her from the corner of his eye as though resisting the impulse to clip her round the head. He never would, probably as she could easily dismantle his beloved truck and never be caught.

'Whatever helps you sleep at night.'

There was a moment of silence, in which she held her breath doing her level best to act as though she was contemplating the big questions in life.

"_Rudolph the red nosed REINDEER!" _She sang as loudly as she could, causing the poor man to wince and jump away.

"**HAD A VERY SHINY NOSE!" **Janet all but screeched from the house, resulting in an equally loud _"Jesus Mom!"_ response.

'Well thank you for that.' Jack glared at her and Sam looked at him, screwing up her lips with narrowed eyes before beaming her cheesiest smile, as the loud out of key singing continued.

'Happy Christmas!' She even went so far as to give him jazz hands and he started laughing. Full on hearty laughter that was so rare coming from Jack, especially at this time of year.

A weird twinkling light suddenly shone above their heads and yet another sprig of mistletoe was dangling above them.

In mid air.

'Okay where _are_ you Daniel?' Jack stood up and started glaring up at the sky, fisted hands placed on his hips. The small sprig danced upwards and wiggled almost mockingly at his words.

'I don't think he's listening. But that's just me.' He turned and shot her the evil eye as the plant ricocheted off his head and above hers.

'Really? _Really? _Can you not attempt to be subtle?' Sam simply scrunched up her face as she hauled herself off the porch, placing the plate out of harms' way.

'Again, I'm not so sure, he's going to be with the _responding_ I think he's going with the _annoying._' They stood shoulder to shoulder, Jack looking up at the stars and her gazing at the trees. The bit of mistletoe was now bouncing lightly of their heads, Sam kept trying to swat it away, but it proved to be quite the stubborn foe.

'Oh to hell with this. You want a show Daniel, yeah? FINE!' Sam's face contorted in confusion before she was spun round and his face was a lot closer then it should have been.

Then he was kissing her.

It was sweet and unbearably short as the brimming underling energy was electric. Sam felt her chest heave, struggling to get enough air into her lungs and he was equally affected.

The mistletoe burst into a shower of lights that rained down over them.

In that moment could have sworn that she saw Daniel, just barely in her peripheral vision, clad in a cheery Christmas jumper grinning brightly at them both.

Happy Christmas indeed.

* * *

**First off. I PASSED! OH yeah! So I have been crazy busy working in a histopathology lab.**

**MANIC!**

**Anyways I hope you enjoy this!**


End file.
